A 6 year journey

01

In 6 years... What I can tell from the pictures

My hair has grown

a lot

I know how to style my bangs

I added a couple tattoos

I have upgraded glasses

I wear less bracelets

and less rings

I wear more color

my environment is pastel instead of black.

more confidence.

In 6 years... What you can't tell from the picture

I have cut my bangs 10+ Times - mostly by myself

I added more than a couple tattoos... see about me page

I have dated 6 people in those 6 years

I own more jewelry now than I did then... less plastic, more metal

I had two pairs of glasses between these ones... I think

I have learned to live in the moment instead of the past or the future

I have learned to love unconditionally and to forgive (both myself and others)

I have made so many many supportive friends and kept most of the ones that I care about deeply

I have also lost a couple friendships that I treasured... maybe one day I will hear from them again.

In these 6 years I have learned to love, to forgive and to move past what is behind me.

Week 1 - Introducing Bluewater Internship

01 Let me start by telling you a little bit about Bluewater and then I will tell you how I came to find myself here.

Welcome to the office

Bluewater is a marketing agency that primarily partners with franchise companies. They use both traditional and digital marking to build complete campaigns to help franchises grow, stay relevant and keep ahead of their competition.  Some of their biggest clients are Great Clips, CarX and Nestle Purina.

This is Brian.... and the rest of the staff!

I came to find Bluewater when I met Kristy Krueger at an AdFed Event in September of this year.  We shared a table at this event. Kristy, according to Bluewater's People page, is a "Marketing Ninja" This is code for Director of Marketing. We talked, and I shared that I was a photographer with a strong interest in graphic design. This sparked her interest and we agreed to keep in touch as I was in the process of looking for an internship.  A couple months passed before we set up a meeting between Kristy, myself and Brian. Brian is Bluewater's Graphic Designer.  The meeting went well  and I was asked to join their creative team as a Graphic Design and Photography Intern.

Holiday Week: Ping Pong and Massage Chair

My first week here was a week of Holiday Celebrating. Many were wearing ugly sweaters, there was a ping pong tournament and then the week ended with a potluck and secret santa gifts. We also were treated to massages as part of the holiday week. It was a really great casual week, a good introduction to the company.

The projects that I am currently working on are:

• Learning Prezi and waiting for my first powerpoint to design in it.
• Creating 4 options for a new business card design
• Learning Bluewater, our competition and what makes us different
• Creating 4 new images for use on the main page of the Bluewater website.

www.bluewaterbrand.com
www.adfed.org
www.prezi.com

Year of Self

01

Love is the hardest of creatures to tame. 

You can dream about it, you can find it, you can believe in it with all your heart. 

Love, It is everything, yet it is so simple and so fragile. - Self

     I have a new journey ahead of me. A journey of self. Each year, it seems, end up with one overall theme that encompasses the happenings in my life. The year of pets, the year of change, the year of learning to love.  This coming year is a year of self. I think this time in my life will be about becoming the best version of myself. Learning to let go and live in the moment, instead of one foot in the past and one foot in the future. I am going to start fresh.

      I will be graduating in March, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. It will be my first graduation ceremony. I am ecstatic.  I am also terrified. What does it mean to enter the real world. The world of paying back loans and beginning to form the life that I want to be living. This world I have been in feels like a limbo of sorts, not really living as an adult, but not living as a teen either. Being independent, but still at times feeling like you need to rely on someone. This next year, I hope to be able to completely rely upon myself. I don't mind asking for help if I need it, but I hope that it isn't needed.

    In this search of self, I am also determined to strengthen my friendships.  To spend as much time with people I love and care about, has become something very important to me.  By the end of next year I am hoping to rent a larger house, somewhere that my cats can run a bit more, and somewhere that I can have a room mate. As much as I love my house, I would like to not live alone. I think learning to share a space with someone is a intricate process, and compatibility of living styles is a must. 

Lets see where this life takes me.

one day at a time.

Two Poems In The Same - August 2002 and Now

01 The debate tonight is how many changes can you make to one poem and still have it be the same poem? I have always felt that the only editing that was acceptable was grammer and punctuation, or rewrites that happen in the moment. Tonight I embrace the idea of completely rewriting, but using the original as the form for the new poem... Please leave your thoughts. Thanks.


-August 2002-
While the wind still blows
that one certain way
the way that gives me courage
the courage I need
to tell you how I feel
when were on the phone
the time never seems right
I am so confused
just thinking of a way
a way to straighten things out
makes me more confused
i hope the right moment is soon
because if not
the wind may take back
its old beaten path
and then we will have to wait
until it blows the way
that gives me courage
and makes me strong

-November 28th 2012-
The wind rushes by.
Tracing the ways of certainty,
down the road to courage
that I usually falter to find.
To share myself
when we speak,
if only the time were right.
I am so confused.
Lost in thoughts,
trying to find a way.
My nervs get the best of me.
There will come a time
before the wind stops howling
and courage fades away.

The Places Life Takes Us

01 So I have been realizing that life tends to follow certain patterns. I am finding that for each thing that ends, it finds a way to begin again. I have also found the same is true for the oposite. In my own life I am staring head on at a situation that I went through years ago, except this time from the oposite side.
This is also true in my work. I LOVE LOVE LOVE my photography work, but I am also finding that my need to do other creative things is slowly finding its way into the open. I used to do a bit of everything; drawing, painting, writing, making things, you name it. When I chose photography as my path, part of that was letting go a little of the other things that I loved. Now it is time to bring them back.  I am going to start writing more and making time to do things other than photography. I think bringing this balance into my life will help me to be a better rounded person and take even more joy in the work that I create.

That is all.

May we meet again

01

We are not through just yet

As our paths change

Once again separate

May we collide again

As our paths change

May we remain untouched

But altered all the same

Once again separate

May we find new ways

But leave our shared way unforgotten

May we collide again

On new paths this time

On paths that do not part again

Loss of another small friend.

01

It had become a sad weekend  in my household. Clover, passed on a couple hours after she was out of surgery on Friday. My heart is saddened that I was unable to give her more time, though I did everything I could. She will be put to rest in my yard this week, next to her sister Eva who left us in January.

Clover and Buckwheat in November 2011

Clover, Ruby and Buckwheat in March 2012

Ruby and Buckwheat August 19th 2012

The Lovely Emily - Flower Tattoo Potraits

01

I got the joy of photographing Emily Rose yesterday.

She wanted photos to capture her newest tattoo,

as well as to show off the shading in her rose tattoo on her shoulder.

Her newest tattoo, 

The rose and flowers loosely represent the women in her life.

Babies breath

Rose

Peony

Crab apple Blossom

The new, lower back tattoo represents primarily the men in her life.

Lilacs

Sunflower

Daisy

Bleeding Heart Bushes.

Here are a couple of my favorite shots.

A Long day but a Good day

01 Today has been a long, but successful day.

This morning Andy accompanied me to something I had been putting off. Here is some back story, Clover one of my three rats, has had a growth slowly growing by her back legs. My assumption is a mammary tumor. For a long time it had stayed a consistent, small size. Recently it began growing again. She hasnt been climbing as much. Her quality of life was declining. This morning I took her into the vet to have a pre-surgery exam. Other than the growth being in a awkward place, it is fully operable. Not attached to any major organs, thank goodness. She will be going to be having surgery on Friday morning. I am really nervous about it, but I know it is in her best interest. Please keep her in your thoughts and hope that everything goes as planned. She will be separated from her sisters for 2 weeks following the surgery, to allow for healing.

The second part of my day involved meeting with two local digi-techs. I was interviewing them for a presentation in my business of photography class. I will post my presentation in my blog, in case anyone is interested in learning more about what it takes to be a digi tech.

When I got home, I continued to get things done. I feel very successful today. Lots of cleaning. Cage, Litter boxes, kitchen and all sorts of stuff.

I am relaxing with wine now. A white merlot blended with a handful of frozen strawberries. It is amazing.

Finally I get to see two of my favorite faces today. I got to see my Sami, in town from Willmar. She stopped by and we had some good conversation and a delicious fruit and wine protein smoothie. Tonight I get to see the lovely Emily Rose. I will be showing off the pictures that I took of her yesterday, and helping her to build her blog. Should be a fantastic way to end the day.

For once, I don't dislike this Monday.

= Success

4 little canvas prints hanging on my wall.

01

Today was a long day. As was yesterday. The last two nights I have managed 6 hours of sleep each night. I was exhausted this morning, but once I managed to get some coffee into my system my day got a lot smoother.

My day started out at one of my  nanny jobs. Followed by some cleaning at home and picking up my 4 new canvas prints. The pictures on my canvas are of my niece and nephews, they turned out fantastic!!! It took a while to figure out where to place them, but in the end it seemed appropriate to put them next to my family portrait from two years ago. While doing this, I came to the conclusion that I would really enjoy a new family portrait this year. Life has changed so much, and I feel like a new brighter picture would be fantastic. I don't know how likely it will be to get everyone together for a picture this year, but maybe when my moms birthday rolls around... That could work well.

Anyway, canvas prints are still 50% off at Ritzpix.com. I love their quality. If you need a canvas print, with the sale they start at $11.99 *end sales pitch* haha

Overcast Chicago - Lightroom Action - Free Download

01

 These are my friends Lauren and Faiz. 

They have been friends longer that I have known them.

Chicago and The Taste Of, was a lot of fun with these two!

Click below to download the lightroom action I created while processing this photo.

It adds a pop of clarity and a bang of color. 

Hope you love it!

More Actions coming soon!

Welcome Back...

01 So I know what you are thinking... "where has this girl been" I have been here, I just have been procrastinating writing in this lovely blog of mine. Well... tonight I have other things that I am procrastinating and it has opened up room in my head to allow me to write.

Life has been a crazy thing since the last time I wrote back in March. I feel like everything has had these subtle shifts happening. To a certain extent it seems like things are falling into place. Some of the things that were broken, are healing. Internally and externally.

I feel so free since I quit Proex in May. Yep, I got out. I am at a much happier place than I was while working there. My stress level has decreased which has allowed me to focus on myself and my schooling. I feel more successful.

I have taken on a could of nanny/sitter jobs. The first family I found has an amazing 6 month old girl named Vienna. She is adorable and learning to crawl. And the second family has a 2 and 3 year old, Kaila and Carson. Carson and I play pirates and Kaila likes to be a princess. These two jobs have left me feeling so fulfilled in what I do, I wish I had changed job paths years ago.

I interviewed for a third family yesterday. I can't wait to hear back from them.

Back to life being crazy, and falling into place. Back in February, Valentines day, I made a list. A list of what I need in a relationship. I made the list from the experience of all my past relationships. It was a turning point for me, of truly realizing what I was looking for in a partner. Well... I found him. Andy has been someone who I have called a friend for a very long time. After writing this list, the world found a way to bring us together. His band-mates in The Pine Box Preachers asked him to contact me about creating photos of them again. Getting back in touch with each other was the best thing that has happened. Well, let me rephrase that... it was the thing that led to all sorts of amazing things happening. We have healthy ups and downs, but in the end I am so incredibly happy. This is good.


That should probably be all for now. Time to get back to revising my grant application. Post on my grant application coming soon. Be excited!

oh and of course, a picture of my love :)

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The things you say.

01

Words spoken in the silence of slumber.
Whispers like lullabys from lips to ear.
A warm breath on my neck,
or just a thought in a dream.
It lingers long after awakening,
Making the mind wander a thin line
between this world and the other.

le baiser premier appel d'offres - Poem

01 The soft pressure of a simple question
laced with intention and expectation
the first conversation that asks "who are you"
a  single moment passes, waiting for a response
the answer is found among the tender words
exchanged between two pairs of lips.

Downtown Minneapolis- Hennipin Ave. - PHOTO HEAVY

01 Last night I tackled the task of photographing neon signs along Hennipin avenue. My friend Andy accompanied me, always nice to have someone watching your back while shooting. Of course, it was also wonderful to have his company.


The first spot that we stopped, because our original intent for the evening was Hennipin Avenue, Lake Street and Lyndale, was Lowry Hill Liquors. We pulled up around 9pm. Lights aglow and dousing the street with their red glow. I got my camera out, switched up my lens and turned around to start creating images. The sign was off. They had closed at 9. Being my, my first though was "I will just ask them to turn it back on." They did. The guy inside was wonderful, his response was "Hold on a second while I figure out which switch it is!" I Love that these photos are unique, because in the little closed sign in the corner is balancing the large glowing sign. These two things are not usually lit at the same time. AWESOME! I also created a close up without the words Liquor Store, in order to not fill my book with Liquor Store signs. Even though that is one of the prominent business that has maintained their neon signs.

After this shoot we adventured to downtown, a trip the the Electronics Cage at my school had become necessary.  My tripod mount had been left at home,making longer exposures nearly impossible. At least long exposures with any control over composition. I also chose to check out a 7D and a wide angle lens to accompany me for the evening. I love the way that the censor on the 7D is able to capture the Neon. It also performs nicely on a higher ISO letting me do a little more hand holding and still capture beautiful images.

Here are an array of the images I ended up making along Hennipin avenue. I filled my card and ended up with over 200 pictures for the evening. Note: all of these photos are straight from camera. No editing, no cropping.

Finally I have handful of signs that are not lit. I plan on adding these into my book to break up the glow of the other signs. I think it says a lot about a sign for it to still be in it's original location after the establishment is shut down. These also almost tell a story of an afterlife, or a purgatory I guess.

Glens Garage & Icehouse Beer

01

This is Glen's garage. The Icehouse Beer neon sign, is the only one. I love the way that it has been incorporated into this work space.

I also found the 1955 Chevy sign a very interesting visual, especially since the blue of the sign, matches the blue of the insulation on the ceiling. Too bad It will not be something that I add into this book. Maybe next time!

Eat Street & Minnehaha Liquors

01 On February 5th Katie Engleman (blog) and I made plans to tackle a portion of Eat Street. We met at The Spyhouse Coffee shop on Nicollet Ave. Starting our evening around 6 pm. For me this was, of course, an adventure in capturing the neon signs of the area. For Katie it was about the people and the businesses of the neighborhood. I did not find much neon, other than open signs on our adventure. Though it was a fantastic time going out shooting in a new area, stepping out of our comfort zones, and shooting with a wonderful photographer who I have not had many opportunities to make photographs with.
The one sign that I found that fascinates me is the  Franklin-Nicollet Liquor Store. It was not lit up, but I do plan on returning and creating more photographs. I think in my final book I will display the two images together, contrasting the two images and showing how the glow of neon changes the feel of a location.

My adventure with Katie was the second part of my evening of creating photographs. I had plans to stop at Target, on Lake street, on my way to meet up with Katie. Turns out I get distracted by neon signs very easily. Minnehaha Liquors was lit up and calling my name. For photos of course, not the liquid inside of the store. I feel I created a lot of beautiful images of the Liquor Store. The color in the sky was still hanging on by it's final threads, which made for a stunning blue backdrop for my images.

I have been enjoying my abstract shots of these neon signs. I feel it captures the neon tubing in a way where you look at the craftsmanship of the sign as well as the sign itself.  For these specific photographs I love the way that the tree branches add a natural element to this giant man made sign.

Simple Understanding - Poem

01 very clearly I can see
that as we drift away
that yesterday
will never again be today

Letters

01 I have loved and lost more times than I care to think about
I have written more letters and left them unsent
than the ones I have had the heart to share.
I am so fearful of rejection.
of what the mind on the other end may think
no regrets on things shared
just wishing they weren't so one sided.
Better to have sent once, than to never have sent at all.

First Day Shooting - Maren & Nick's Garage

01 My first photoshoot for this essay was scheduled on February 1st 2012.

I was go go to Maren and Nick's house and photograph his small neon sign collection in their garage.

That day was a really good experience for me, finding out which exposures worked best to help capture the true essence of the neon signs.

Here are a handful of the photographs that I created in their garage.

Feedback is appreciated!

Close to Home - Cocktail Lounge & White Bear

01 I live by a lot of great signs, as the sun was setting it was the perfect evening to capture the glow of the signs with the slowly darkening sky behind them. It was also a great time to play with longer exposures and to see how that affects the neon.

The cocktail lounge sign that you see first, is a sign that I had photographed during the time that I was working on my first Motel Signs project.( An original scan of an image from my July 2011 Series seen below) Many of the lights were burnt out at that time. Cocktail was out on one side and Lounge was out on the other. It warms my heart to see that this sign has been repaired and is now in it's full glory.

In the background of the photo on the right,   you can see that this sign is in very close proximity to The Northernaire Motel sign that was replaced. 

The White Bear Shopping Center sign is one I had never seen until this night.  After photographing the Cocktail Lounge sign, I decided to keep driving. This is what I found, and I was very glad that there was still light in the sky to help define the shape of the sign. I shot many long exposures, 4+ seconds of this sign to capture different car trails. I like how the car trails mimic the look of neon, and therefore compliment it nicely.

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