Nothing anymore.

01

Nothing makes much sense to me anymore. I feel like I want one thing, but at the same time, i am also drawn to wanting something else. Looking back at my old writing, i feel like I haven't known who i am for a long time, and like i have always been questioning everything. But maybe that is just what i do, maybe i question things and am on some sort of endless quest to figure out who this person is that i call myself. I feel like i am lost sometimes, and just trying to find a way to find something. Just trying to find me. Looking back at old writing, i feel like things have always been foreshadowed at ending up here. I barley ever pick up my notebooks anymore, but when i do, they tend to lead to revelations. I wrote about how things were always the same. and how i felt alone. I wrote about all of those ''what if'' situations. I played every action over in words trying to see something differently. I am tired of not seeing anymore. I am tired now of my mind being dark and empty of the words that used to clutter it. I still feel like i need a change of pace. and now that i am finally able to make changes and choose which path to take, i am not sure if it is worth begin able to make those choices. I feel like either way someone will end up hurt. Is it bad that i am trying to not get hurt?

Nothing makes much sense to me anymore. I feel like I want one thing, but at the same time, i am also drawn to wanting something else. Looking back at my old writing, i feel like I haven't known who i am for a long time, and like i have always been questioning everything. But maybe that is just what i do, maybe i question things and am on some sort of endless quest to figure out who this person is that i call myself. I feel like i am lost sometimes, and just trying to find a way to find something. Just trying to find me. Looking back at old writing, i feel like things have always been foreshadowed at ending up here. I barley ever pick up my notebooks anymore, but when i do, they tend to lead to revelations. I wrote about how things were always the same. and how i felt alone. I wrote about all of those ''what if'' situations. I played every action over in words trying to see something differently. I am tired of not seeing anymore. I am tired now of my mind being dark and empty of the words that used to clutter it. I still feel like i need a change of pace. and now that i am finally able to make changes and choose which path to take, i am not sure if it is worth begin able to make those choices. I feel like either way someone will end up hurt. Is it bad that i am trying to not get hurt?